Shakespeare's Hamlet - Read it if you've had a sudden change in your life

To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Flesh is heir to?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_be,_or_not_to_be

Hamlet experiences a deep, sudden change in the direction of his life. What does he do? He works on his emotional process. He defines himself. He takes responsibility for who he is and who he is going to be. 

What - Change, unplanned, unanticipated, unwanted - Hamlet calls "The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune...a Sea of troubles...The Heart-ache...the thousand Natural shocks That Flesh is heir to...

So What - Here and now I have to decide how I will handle change.

Now what - These are Hamlet's metaphors for change; what are yours? Write a poem, create a dialogue, do whatever creative things you can do to express your thoughts in new metaphors. The next step is to discard the metaphors you've created and push on, beyond settled ways of thinking to new ground and when you've done that you'll find a new way of handling your life.

I'll share from my own experience. I read Nathaniel Branden's, Honoring the Self. P. 38-9 (Kindle version) he says, 

p. 38 “I suggested they were being too hard on themselves...I had not yet discovered the functional utility of their self-condemnation, within the context of their private model of self-in-the-world.

Slowly I began to realize the survival value of their self-blame.”

I parsed that for myself using my "what, so what, now what" approach, spending a few minutes answering each of those questions: for example, "What is the functional utility of my self-condemnation", etc.

Here's where I shook out..

I’m no longer living in a context where self-condemnation helps. I live in a context where I define the “freedom within limits” that I’m willing to tolerate and which will yield the highest and best use of my self for the purpose of “thriving”.  This is honoring my self.

Honoring my self vs. Self-condemnation.

There is no one anywhere I know of that will continue to benefit from any effort I put forth toward self-condemnation. I believe there are many who will benefit from my efforts to define the freedom with limits that I’m willing to tolerate yielding the highest and best use of my self for the purpose of my thriving. This is honoring my self.

hum...I like where things have turned out and as Branden suggests, I repeat to myself... "Right now I am choosing

to define the freedom with limits that I’m willing to tolerate yielding the highest and best use of my self for the purpose of my thriving. And I take responsibility for this."

Problems don't go away...work on them anyway!

Leaders often think that if “things get better,” problems will, if not disappear, at least become few in number. Certainly people will not focus on problems so much. People will become more satisfied and feel better about things. Leaders are surprised to learn it does not work that way. When things improve, discontent often follows.

But there is a difference. The problems now are of a higher order, if that is any comfort. Lovett H. Weems, Jr.http://www.churchleadership.com/leadingideas/updates/130501.html

What - Problems - If I go back to pastoring, I will keep a running list of every problem/ concern/ issue. I will keep a running list of who, what, when, where, why and how and I will post this on my office door. I will update it as problems move to a higher order. I will also track and report my emotional process.

So What - I totally missed this one. I thought problems went away. Wrong. Problems remain and require emotional processing. By this I mean the difference a problem makes is where it takes me emotionally as I seek to lead forward into the vision. If I run from the problem, the clue that I'm running from it is I have yet to clearly define it and clearly describe how this problem is impacting me emotionally and why. The clue is the problem is not on my radar. I need to track my emotional processing as carefully as I track any other dynamic unfolding as leadership addresses the problem. Emotional process means how well leadership is defining itself in the face of the problem. "Some will run, but that ain't like me." (Sonny Throckmorton, The way I am) How leadership defines itself is up to the leader of the leaders. If the leader of the leader stays well defined, all is well. I failed to stay well-defined in one or more key areas. I know now what these key areas were and will be, because problems don't go away; and I'll be able to address these "problems" in the future. I've learned something!

Now What - Make the list. Do the due diligence on the list and keep working on it. No secrets. Keep the problems in front of the leadership. Keep the vision and the problems clearly before the leadership and keep my own emotional processes clearly in focus as I work on the problems. Problems don't go away.

"When the adults of a great nation feel long-term pessimism, it only makes matters worse when those in authority take actions that reveal their detachment from the concerns—even from the essential nature—of their fellow citizens. And it makes those citizens feel powerless. Inner pessimism and powerlessness: That is a dangerous combination." Peggy Noonan, Wall Street Journal, August 10, 2010.

I will focus for a moment on the experiences of "inner pessimism and powerlessness". I play music to connect with my "inner". I enjoy the creativity. I express a lot of inner energy through music. I express emotions and those emotions include my sense of pessimism. My feelings of pessimism arise not from powerlessness but from grief. I am deeply grieving our "detachment from the concerns—even from the essential nature—of their fellow citizens." I still sing "This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land" as often as I can. We are in this together. When I see young people ambling along with their pants dragging almost to their knees, I wonder who could possibly be affirming this? When I see a beautiful young woman with a tattoo across her chest, from shoulder to shoulder, I wonder who could possibly be affirming this? I am deeply concerned about the essential nature of my fellow citizens. What concerns me most deeply is the need for education and pointing people to higher standards of behavior and self-valuation. When I walk into my office I don't really want to see my fellow employees exposing more flesh than I might see at the beach. What is this about? And I've quit watching TV. I can't find anything that doesn't degrade my sense of values. So I grieve. I hope you'll join me and after a time of grief, join me in some action that will address the needs and concerns and the essential nature of our fellow Americans. Write a song that pulls us up into art, that pulls us up into the very best that we can be, that gives us hope, and shows us a better way to live, a more human way to care for one another.

Leave it for someone else - saying "no" to "the wanting Creature"

I left a good deal hanging on the pegs. If you can find a Peavey Predator, one made in the 1990's and made in the USA, and in good shape, snag it. I believe they play and sound much better than a USA Fender Strat. Or let me put it this way, you can tweak them, like someone tweaked the Predator I've got. What a range of tones, from fat to lean, from SRV to country and, put it the neck pickup and that's a fat, fat tone. I like the jumbo frets too. Peavey spared nothing to make this a very fine instrument. OK, that said, I left one hanging. I Could have had it for $100 bucks. Why walk on a deal like that? Delbert McClinton sings a song titled, "Too Much Stuff". Listen to it. That's why.

Its OK to say you've got enough. Rumi has a poem called "The Wanting Creature". He tells the story of a frozen snake that someone buys and thaws and when they thaw it, it turns out to be "the wanting creature". Rumi says once thawed that beast can never again be tamed. I'll never tame it, but every once in a great while, I say "no" to it.

I get caught between wanting and too much stuff. Right now one Peavey Predator is enough...right now!

Gettin' ready to smile for a couple of weeks

My wife says I smile for at least 2 weeks after a gig. I'll be subbing on bass for the guy who usually plays for Danny Duristanti. Danny and I met purely by chance. I stopped at Picker's Paradise Music Store in Stapleton, Alabama, just north of Foley on Highway 59. Its famous for being next door to Jody Payne's house. Jody's the guitar player for Willie Nelson since 1973. Last time I was in the store, Jody was there talking to the owner about how to get some kind of better sound out of something. I just listened. Five years ago I stopped and Danny was there with his old Guild acoustic. I'll strike up a conversation with anyone and did with Danny. He's quiet and thoughtful and he gave his phone number and said I could call him about playing rhythm guitar for his duo. I did and ended up, without ever practicing with them, doing a New Year's Eve gig at the now defunct "Three Spirit's Sports Bar". He invited me back, this time to practice! I met Joel, the guy who eventually built me a boat. Joel played bass. This Friday and Saturday Danny and I will be at Live Bait at the Wharf at Orange Beach, AL. You can Google it. Danny hails from Cleveland, Mississippi and is very proud of his Delta Blues upbringing. We'll do a lot of old time delta blues, some country, some Tom Petty, and if we need to, take a break. We like to just play. There's so little time to just play. Danny's good, real good! Our music makes me smile!

People who know how

He fixed it in five minutes. I had indeed reversed the polarity on the 2x12 cabinet. I did it at the input plug. I read somewhere that most folks who fail at fixing something do so because they don't look at the problem long enough. He looked hard at the input plug, found the connection for the tip and the stem and made sure the hot side and the ground side didn't swap sides somewhere in the muddle of connections. I plugged my Crate Powerblock into the speakers and my Ibanez classical guitar into the Crate amp. Sounded really good. I'll use the cabinet with my bass rig. I'm subbing for the regular bass player in a duo. The gig's at an outdoor bar at a local Marina, 5pm - 9pm. That's what I enjoy doing. I never know what song is coming next. I watch and listen and learn. Most of its 1,4,5 blues songs, occasionally something more complex. My job is to keep the root of things intact, nothing fancy, basic bass guitar: be there on the first beat. I can do that.

If its fixed, don't break it.

I bought an old Peavey 2x12 ported bass cabinet loaded with scorpion speakers. It came from the factory 4 ohm. I used it several times as part of my bass rig. I use a Peavey 2600 stereo power amp and a Peavey Bass Max preamp. Great sound till I decided I'd change it to an 8ohm cabinet. If its fixed, don't break it. I didn't really know what I'd done to it. But I eventually sold it and eventually bought it back. The guy I sold it to couldn't use it. He said it sounded real flat, no resonance, etc. I called a buddy of mine and asked him if he could return it to 4 ohm status. He said, "that's easy and I'll check the polarity. You have to make sure you have your polarity correct. If you don't, the speakers more or less cancel each other out, sound flat, no resonance." Hum. I guess I screwed up the polarity. Is this a parable? Kinda! Here's a quote from Walter Wink, a guy who studies parables:

"Parables are tiny lumps of coal squeezed into diamonds, condensed metaphors that catch the rays of something ultimate and glint it at our lives. Parables are not illustrations; they do not support, elaborate or simplify a more basic idea. They are not ideas at all, nor can they ever be reduced to theological statements. They are the jeweled portals of another world; we cannot see through them like windows, but through their surfaces are refracted lights that would otherwise blind us -- or pass unseen... Nor can parables ever be exhausted; they always contain more than we can tell. They are the precipitate of something ineffable; they percolate up from depths wherein the Kingdom itself is working its ineluctable work. They come from the same energizing reality that causes the seeds to germinate and the leaven to rise. They rise with the leaven. "

Maybe you'll discover a parable among your old guitars and stuff.