Grant me...the courage to change the things I can

Find the verbs in "the serenity prayer". The common version is:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
the wisdom to know the difference.

Grant...an active verb and something for which God, your higher power, will take responsibility.
After that verb, you'll find three others, all active verbs. And the action belongs to us.
Accept
Change
Know

These difficult actions, acceptance, change and knowing, will be our responsibility, should our higher power grant us the hutzpah to go forward.

I have the most difficulty with change. Lately I've had some insight into why.

First, change means change. Change means I leave something and move to something else. The other day I decided I'd change my wardrobe. I bought two Hawaiian Shirts and a pair of kakis. Now for the change to take effect, I'll have to wear those shirts and the kak's. Just buying them isn't enough. That's just step one, getting ready for real change.  Another example. I've let my hair grow out, a little. Why, because I'm playing a gig with two guys whose hair is in a pony tail. The change in my hair has been gradual. Couple of days ago I spotted a sign in Walmart. "Buzz Cut, $10." Tempting, very tempting. But radical, a radical change. I haven't had a Buzz Cut since the 5th grade. Change means change. Going from a little longer version of my haircut to a Buzz: I don't have the courage.

Second, change means work. One reason I don't get the Buzz is all the work I'd have to do to explain why. I'd have to work at accepting the new me. I'd have to work at being the new me. I'd have to work at working out all the implications of the change. That's work.

Finally change means potential experiences of  rejection and loneliness. These emotional barriers are the real reason I resist change. Change means facing the emotional barriers I am least able and least willing to handle. And, I'm not just talking about a different haircut. Rejection and loneliness are what I call deep loss emotions. Deep loss evokes grief and grief will have to be processed: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance...the process as outlined by Kubler-Ross. I'll start at a change, experience rejection and loneliness, stop the change, experience the deep loss, process the grief. So when I identify a change I need to make, what's most likely to keep me stuck? Emotional barriers and my lack of fortitude & skill, but mostly courage, to work past the rejection and loneliness I may never experience, but always fear.

So there you have it. Someone has wisely said, "Pray anyway!"